Monday, November 23, 2020

Bobby Orr looks back on a great Canadian life, and the pictures prove it

 

Bobby Orr: 'I had grown up being a Leafs fan, so any time we played against them, especially at Maple Leaf Gardens, it was special for me.'

Among the pictures in Bobby Orr’s new book of photographs is a snapshot of Terry Fox with Orr’s father, Doug.

Fox was in the midst of his run across the country and flashing his back to show he’s wearing one of Orr’s No. 4 jerseys.

Orr is sitting in a hotel suite in downtown Toronto dressed like he’s going to a job interview – a shirt right out of the dry-cleaning bag, grey slacks, freshly shined loafers.

He’s going through the book, Bobby: My Story in Pictures, rhyming off names of people as though just now remembering they were in there. Occasionally, he’ll stop on someone and, in that charming rural way, say, “We lost him last year.”

People never die in small towns. They’re lost, as if they might show back up one day.

Orr: 'When [Terry Fox] made his way through Parry Sound, Dad gave him my 1976 Canada Cup sweater as a gift.'

The Fox picture is one of his favourites, perhaps because Doug Orr looks so pleased in it.

“[Fox] was going through Parry Sound,” Orr says. “My dad said, ‘You want to give him something?’ I said, ‘Sure, give him whatever you want’. So he gave him my [1976 Canada Cup] Team Canada sweater.”

Orr was injured during the 1972 Summit Series and didn’t dress. That 1976 jersey is his most tangible connection to the country’s greatest sporting triumph.

Orr is touched that the Fox family still has that sweater and baffled by the suggestion that he might’ve wanted to keep it for himself.

“Why would I?” he says.

Orr is 70, but he doesn’t look all that different than he did back when he was changing the game. Same tidy mop of hair, same Shar Pei grin, same twinkle. It’s only when he moves that you get some sense of the effect a quarter-century of hockey has on a body.

As it does to all of us, age has made Orr a nostalgist, but he’s not nostalgic.

He never did collect things, or care much about them once he had. The only thing he’s kept are the trophies because who gets rid of a trophy? That’d be rude.

Posed the old “What would you save from a burning house?” question, Orr has to think for a while and then pops out with, “My wife.”

That one gets him laughing so hard that the cup of coffee he’s holding tips and a drop spills on his pant leg.

As he wipes it away, Orr, still laughing, mutters to himself, “I used to have good hands. That’s what they said, at least.”

Orr as a student at R.A. McLaughlin High School in Oshawa, Ont.

Some people surprise you, and some are what you’d expect. Orr is a third kind, reserved for a small subset of the famous – exactly what you’d hoped. After 60 seconds in his company, Orr has already offered you everything in the room – “Coffee? You have a coffee. More coffee? Water? Maybe there’s juice. How about something to eat? Where would you like to sit?”

You have the suspicion that if you asked Bobby Orr for his car keys, he’d offer to drive.

He has a habit of ending thoughts with a staccato “duh-duh, duh-duh, duh,” said at a marching beat, where the rest of us would say “blah blah blah.” Sometimes he’ll reach down and tap it out with his fingers as he does it.

It’s just like Bobby Orr to think something we all do instinctively – speaking – might be improved by doing it differently.

Orr is steering you around the small room just in case you get confused, which I suppose people often do when first in his presence. He’s laughing at your lame jokes as if you’re Carson and keeps repeating how wonderful it is to see you.

The man is a Heritage Minute made flesh.

Orr in the 1976 Canada Cup. 'To win with the maple leaf on that sweater remains one of my most enjoyable experiences as a hockey player.'

You could argue that he is also our last great connection to a national idea that is fading away – a hockey legend raised on the pond.

“Ten or 12 or 15 guys on the lake, the parking lot, the schoolyard. That’s how we learned to play.”

Orr wasn’t coached by anyone until he was 7 or 8, didn’t own a new pair of skates until he was 10 or 11 and didn’t attend any sort of hockey school until he was a professional.

His kamikaze style of play has been studied the way military colleges break down the tactics of great generals, but in general, it might be described as joie de vivre.

Similar to any kid in a Saturday afternoon game of shinny, he was always trying to do something fun out there. Even when others were trying to kill him as he did it.

Orr’s bad knees – the most obsessed-over recurrent injury in NHL history – undid him. He played too long on them and had to retire too early.

Orr says 'the doctors in the 1960s and '70s did the best they could with my knees.'

When he sits now, he is constantly readjusting himself in a chair, trying to find a more comfortable angle. When he’s thinking, a hand will move down and begin absently massaging a knee. It’s the tic that lets you know he is deep in consideration.

He is a hockey agent now. His firm, Orr Hockey Group, handles the careers of some of the NHL’s top talent, notably Edmonton Oiler Connor McDavid.

Despite the obvious financial incentive of professionalization at the lowest levels, Orr maintains a gentle, curmudgeonly suspicion of the way Canadians now approach hockey development.

The other night, Orr was, as he often is, out and about. Some kids came up and asked for advice. The implication is that they did not want to be told how to be more like Bobby Orr the person, but how to become Bobby Orr the NHL star.

“Love the game,” he told them. “Don’t cheat. Don’t cheat yourself. Do everything you can to be the best you can be. And in the end, if you don’t make it, you weren’t good enough.”

Orr is getting animated, a finger jabbing the air.

“Some of these coaches think the mortgage is on the line if they don’t win a peewee hockey game, for God’s sakes. We turn a lot of kids off the game.”

Orr with an unidentified child, from Bobby: My Life in Pictures.

In the first line of the introduction to the book he’s promoting, Orr tells the reader what isn’t in there:

“Unfortunately, I don’t have any photos from my childhood of me playing shinny with my buddies on the Georgian Bay or the Seguin River, which runs through my hometown of Parry Sound.”

It’s something Gabriel Garcia Marquez would have written were he born in Cranbrook rather than Colombia.

There are no pictures because there were no adults at those games and thus, no cameras. Orr’s parents didn’t often watch him play, even after he’d entered an organized league. They were too busy working.

Doug Orr knew the game.

“They tell me he was a pretty good player,” Orr says, and then winks. “Well, he tells me.”

Though Doug has been gone for years, Orr still speaks about him in the present tense.

Orr: 'It was never about who would end up playing pro. Certainly, all of us wanted to make it in the game, but more importantly, lasting friendships developed and have been maintained with many of my old teammates.'

The Boston Bruins first spotted Orr by accident. He was playing in a tournament in Gananoque, Ont., – one of his first road trips. Bruins scouts had come to see a couple of players from another team but were drawn to the 14-year-old no one had yet heard of.

Orr’s remembrance of his professional life’s turning point? “We lost.”

Doug Orr had also been scouted by the Bruins but decided to join the Navy instead. After his son caught the same sort of notice, people would come up to Doug to congratulate him and tell him Bobby was going places.

“He’d just nod. His advice to me was, ‘Have fun. We’ll see what happens’. That was it. He didn’t coach me.”

Never?

“Never. We talked hockey, but he never said ‘Do this’ or ‘Do that.’”

Then how did you talk about hockey?

“I don’t remember,” Orr says, wistful now. “It was different then. We’ll never see it again.”

Orr with roommates Ross Lonsberry, Ted Hodgson and Joe Watson, early in their careers. 'I wonder what an NHL rookie today would think of our nutrition back then.'

These days, Orr is in the position to give advice. He’s paid well to do so. Some aspects of the modern game trouble him, especially the injuries and the pressure. No one is in a better position to judge.

Searching around for an example of how crazy it’s all got, Orr recalls the time he was on the cover of Maclean’s magazine.

“Do you remember Maclean’s?”

Yes. It’s still going.

“We didn’t have any press coverage. That was huge!” Orr says. “These days it never stops. None of it. It’s 12 months of the year. Kids go 12 months a year. I worry about that.”

Mostly – and this is an odd position for someone in his line of work – he’d like people to slow down.

“I see some kids that move to play and there’s no reason to do it,” Orr says. “Everyone’s in a hurry. Mom, dad, everyone. This is not a sprint.”

Orr: 'Pat Quinn was one tough Irishman. Whenever you played against Pat, you knew it would be a battle. In this picture I look like I have the upper hand. But I must admit that on one other occasion, he did get the better of me!'

Having got the benefit of a back-to-the-land, slow-hockey upbringing that now seems as old-fashioned as a butter churn, Orr wishes everyone else could see the value in it. That people could do the thing because it is worth doing, separate from the rewards that await a very, very few practitioners.

“There are communities where I don’t think they have hockey for kids who just want to play, with no chance of going anywhere. That’s terrible. Hockey is for everybody, not just for travel teams and the elite. It’s unbelievable.”

That finger is really jabbing now, and though Orr is not a big man, you cannot help but notice his hand is as wide around as a pasta bowl. You begin to slide back in your seat, just to be on the safe side.

When he thinks about fun in hockey now, his most famous charge rises to front of mind. Orr can go on and on about McDavid – his hands, how he moves with the puck, how he approaches the game the right (i.e. unhurried) way.

Orr: 'Here we are in the dressing room with a postcard from GIs in Vietnam. I hope they knew that they meant as much to us as we meant to them.'

A general discussion about skills floats into bar talk. Who are Orr’s five best players in history?

“Mine? My own?” Orr says, as if you’d just stopped a guy on the street and asked him for three solutions to a sovereign debt crisis.

“I don’t know if I can say.”

No pressure. Just whomever you think.

“Now this is only my opinion.”

Of course.

Then he rattles them off without pausing: “Wayne. Mario. Sid. Sid’s pretty good. Gordie. No particular order here. Those guys … “ – and then, like it’s an afterthought – “… McDavid’s going to be in that group.”

I know you played different positions, but is he the player who reminds you most of yourself?

Now Orr is really aghast. This is veering perilously close to self-congratulation. The hand gets on the knee and he’s shaking his head.

“No. No, no. I think we’re really different. This kid, he’s special.”

No. 4, Bobby Orr, does not think he was special? Seriously?

“Well, I could play. But I can’t do some of the stuff he does. He’s a lot smoother than me.”

Orr: 'Here I am learning the ropes from veteran Hockey Night in Canada broadcaster Brian McFarlane.'

One supposes this is how you know you’ve done something really well. That not only do you feel no need to praise yourself for what you’ve managed, but now feel the need to play down its quality. That’s confidence.

Eventually, the true greats – having never fallen in love with themselves – are anxious to fall in love with the work of others. That’s what keeps them engaged – watching the thing done even better.

At a certain age, they can see how they were part of a continuum – from the Seguin River, to the Boston Garden, to the Stanley Cup and, eventually, watching the cycle turn over to someone new.

Maybe that’s why Orr is an agent, so that he has a good reason to be around hockey players at work.

When he talks about what it all means, he returns repeatedly to the values of hockey, which, at their best, are indistinguishable from those of any prosperous community.

“Being a good teammate, being dedicated, being nice,” Orr says. “People are nice to me and I try to be nice to them. That’s how it’s supposed to work, right?”

Anything else?

Orr rolls out his jabbing finger again, but it’s slower now. He’s making his core point, speaking with purpose.

“You have a level. I have a level. We all have a level. The level doesn’t matter. What’s important is that we go out every day and play at it.”


Friday, November 13, 2020

Palace in the Popple

 


Palace In They Popple; MOOD TV # 2046 (Go to 27:00 in video for poem)


 Written by George Augustus "Gus" Bixby, ca. 1905

Donated by Billie Pett
 

Gus and Rob Bixby, lived in Trego, Gus having been born in St Croix County in August 1880, and died in Trego in 1969. Rob, born 1884, died in Trego in 1968. They were a couple of old bachelors that loved the great outdoors.  Apparently Gus also loved reading poetry...and  he dabbled at writing it, too. Here is a poem he wrote about their hunting shack north of Trego.

Palace in the Popple

  It's a smokey raunchy boar's nest,
    with an unswept drafty floor,
  And pillow ticking curtains,
    with knife scars on the floor.

  The smell of a pine knot fire,
    from a stovepipe that's come loose,
  Mingles sweetly with the bootgrease,
    and the copenhagen snoose.

  There are workworn .30-.30's
    with battered steel stocks,
  And drying lines of longjohns,
    and of steaming pungent socks.

  There's a table for the bloody four,
    and their game of two card draw,
  And there's deep and dreamless sleeping,
    on bunkticks filled with straw.

  Ed and Lawrence, by the stove,
    their gun talk loud and hot,
  And Rob, has drawn a pair of kings,
    and raking in the pot.

  Harvey's drafted again as cook,
    he's peeling spuds for stew,
  While Gus, wanders in baggy pants,
    receiting Dan McGrew.

  Nowhere on earth is fire so warm,
    nor coffee so infernal,
  Or whiskers stiff or jokes so rich
    nor hope blooms so eternal.

  A man can live for a solid week,
    in the same old underbritches,
  He can walk like a man, spit where he wants,
    and scratch himself where he itches

  I tell you boys there's no place else,
    where I'd rather be come Fall,
  Where I eat like a bear and sing like a wolf,
    And feel like I'm Bull Pine tall.

  In that raunchy cabin out in the bush,
    in the land of the Raven n Loon,
  With a tracking snow lying new to the ground,
    at the end of the rutting moon.

  George Augustus (Gus) Bixby
   Circa 1905

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Erdélyi hajdútánc

 



Erdélyi hajdútánc
1.

Nosza, hajdú, firge varjú,
Járjunk egy szép táncot!
Nem vagy fattyú, sem rossz hattyú,
Kiálts hát egy hoppot!
Szájod mondjon, lábod járjon
Egy katonatáncot.

2.

Pöndülj, csizma, járjad, anya!
Elől, tollas, elől!
Amaz Palkó, kurvafia
Vigyáz kívül-belől.
Toppants gyorsan, hadd csosszanjon,
Ne maradj balfelől!

3.

Nosza Rándulj! hol vagy Viduj?
Fujd az bagi táncát,
Az emlőjét, az tömlőjét,
Ne kéméld az sípját!
Mert emennek, Kis Péternek
Adta az bal sarját.

4.

Gyászolj, Buda! Eger tornya
Fönnen hányja füstit,
Karánsebes, Kisbelényes
Béhunyta jobb szemét,
Az tokosnak, rossz fattyúnak
Nem állhotja kezét.

5.

Haja, Tisza, haja Duna,
Száva, Dráva vize,
Mindeniknek, mikor árad,
Zavaros a vize;
Az német is hogy általjött,
Megváltozott íze.

6.

Majre, csajre, Molduváre
Fut Havasalföldre,
Ungur, bungur, amaz rumij
Sátorát fölszedte.
Szatuj majre, pita najre,
Nincs pénz, az ebverte!

7.

Erdély, Lippa és Bronicska,
Megjárd lábom, megjárd.
Amaz gyöngyös, kis keszkenyős,
Né, hol fut jó banyád!
Mit dudorgasz, hogy nem ugrasz?
Kurva volt az bábád!

8.

Alsóbánya, Fölsőbánya,
Jó kövér szalanna!
Bő az bora, korcsomája,
De ingyen nem adja!
Ha pénzed nincs, költséged nincs,
Meg is koplaltatna.

9.

Kis tartomány, igen sovány
Amaz Máramaros.
Nincs búzája, gabonája,
Megette az tokos.
Ne féljen bár, hogy lészen kár,
Vagy búzája dohos.

10.

Kurta Szamos, tarka Maros,
Sajó két mellyéke,
Noha hegy-völgy és erős tölgy,
De nincs búza benne,
Amaz tokos, rossz kalapos
Mert azt mind megette.

11.

Kis-Küköllő, Nagy-Küköllő
Gyönyörű folyása,
Nyárád vize, kedves íze.
Rózsa az illatja,
Bő terméssel határidat
Isten látogassa!

12.

Könnyen csörgő, kövön pöngő
Amaz Kis-Aranyos,
Mikor árad, meg nem szárod,
Fölötte hatalmas;
Szalmamaggal vidékiben
Megtelik az nagy kas.

13.

Előljárja, rátoppantja
Doboka vármegye.
Után’ Torda, ne hadd soha,
Tied az erszénye
Megborsolva, vajba rántva
Mind elkél az leve.

14.

Szépen járja, amaz fújja
Szépen Szeben vára.
Nosza gazda, ne fuss gazra,
Hozz bort az asztalra!
Mert ha külön csak félen vonsz,
Megüt amaz csalfa.

15.

Félen tartod az nagy orrod
Déva, Görgény vára,
Barassónak az kűlfala
Pogácsábul rakva.
Jer ki, Kata, ha köll néked
Füles habarnica.

16.

Az hariska, tatárbúza
Vajki jó puliszka.
Nosza kurta, hol az kurva?
Vigyorog az farka;
Az nagy papnak, az vargának
Bialbőr kalapja.

17.

Marosszékrül, Udvarhelyrül
Megyek Háromszékre,
Szépségérül térségére,
Nincs mása Erdélyben,
Isten tartsa, szaporítsa
Gabonáját benne!

18.

Egészséggel, békességgel,
Édes lakóföldem,
Kit sóhajtott és óhajtott
Ez napokban szívem,
Ím! hogy inték, belépék,
Megvidula lölköm.

19.

Nohát immár minden ember
Örüljön ez napon,
Nagy jókedvet, víg örömöt
Mutasson ez házban,
Az én szívem, mert hazajött
Szerencsés órában!

20.

Egészséggel, idvösséggel,
Édes szép szerelmem,
Isten hozott és hordozott
Örvendetes hírben,
Itthon már ülj és velünk légy
Együtt szeretetben!

Monday, November 2, 2020

Tee party

 The LPGA won't admit it but the lesbian bars and clubs in Palm Springs tell the real story. Veronica Lee found that the thousands of women who turn up for the Dinah Shore Classic aren't all there for the golf


Sunday 6 May 2001
The Observer


Palm Springs, California, springtime. There is a golf tournament in town and thousands of women have arrived, but not to watch the sport. Instead they are here for some other sport Ð one long party, with nudity, girl-on-girl action and go-go dancers simulating sex on stage. Much to the chagrin of the tournament's organiser, the LPGA, and its sponsor Nabisco, this elite event has become a sapphic debauch writ large, as lesbians from all over America converge in the desert for the Dinah Shore Classic.

Television personality Dinah Shore, a keen golfer and sports fan (whose other claim to fame was a six-year affair with Burt Reynolds), started the tournament in 1972, putting her name and money into the then grossly underfunded LPGA, when female golfers earned a pittance in comparison to the men and were rarely covered on TV. Because Shore was a big Hollywood name, she was able to get friends in the business to give their support, and the event took off as her presence attracted all-important sponsors. She also attracted women, despite not being gay herself, although the lesbian nation likes to claim her as a sister.

Eleven years ago, Sandy Sachs and Robin Gans, owners of the Los Angeles lesbian club Girl Bar, came to the tournament, were bored rigid, and saw an opportunity. They started promoting hotel packages, music clubs and pool parties during the golf weekend, which initially attracted sports fans looking for something to do once the golf was through mid-afternoon, and women who just wanted to be around other women in a convivial atmosphere. Over the past few years, due largely to their efforts, the weekend has turned into a lesbian bacchanal where any self-respecting US dyke goes to get a tan, get a girlfriend and get laid. Oh, and maybe watch some golf.

The first time they went to Palm Springs, Sachs and Gans Ð partners in business and in life Ð actually watched some golf. 'That was so boring,' says Sachs, grimacing at the memory. 'We only went because we knew one of the players, who was then the girlfriend of one of my exes. It was exhausting, all that walking, walking, walking in the heat. We looked at each other and said, "Never again".' Instead they devoted themselves to providing more interesting but equally vigorous forms of entertainment and the partying now attracts more lesbians than the golf itself. In fact, the joke has it that some of their clients can spend the entire weekend in blissful ignorance that there is a golf tournament at all.

The LPGA, for its part, appears to be equally unaware. 'Oh there's a party scene here?' says an LPGA spokeswoman. 'We really wouldn't know.' Funny that, because half your golfers are rumoured to show up there. But they needn't worry about being recognised, as Sachs and Gans reckon that only about five per cent of their clientele actually go to the golf. 'Even if a top player walked in Ð and we've had winners of the Dinah Shore at the Girl Bar Ð our girls wouldn't recognise them.'

At the golf, played a few miles down the road from Palm Springs at the Mission Hills club in Rancho Mirage, it's soon clear that there are only two types of fan Ð local wrinklies (even the radio network calls itself The Oldies Station) Ð and lesbians. The oldies come in twos, the lesbians in fours and sixes and more. My guestimate is that 60 per cent of the crowd are lesbians.

It's hard to tell the lesbian fans apart from the players, as they are decked out in the same outfits Ð tailored shorts and polo shirts, with the more butch gals turning their collars up. It's really only a flattering look for the tall and slim, and the fans, like the players, come in all shapes and sizes. No wonder gay men don't play golf.

The older fans and the tournament marshals, many of whom have been volunteering at the tournament since it began, are fiercely loyal to the memory of Dinah Shore, who died in 1994, and are very unhappy that Nabisco took her name off the event's title last year. 'As far as I'm concerned,' said one marshal, 'it has always been the Dinah Shore tournament and always will. That woman is revered in these parts.' I tell him rumour has it that Nabisco took her name off because the tournament had become synonymous with lesbians. 'Dinah Shore wasn't a lesbian!' he says, laughing. 'And it's not just lesbians here, lots of locals come too.'

Indeed they do, as Palm Springs is a golfer's paradise, with 100 courses within a 40-minute drive in the Coachella Valley. l chat to a septuagenarian couple in the club bar, Madeline and Marv, snowbirds who escape the harsh Washington winter to stay in Palm Springs. Both sports nuts and reasonable golfers in their time, they now watch golf from the sidelines. I ask them if they are bothered by all the lesbians drinking around them. 'Hell, no. Why should we be?' says Madeline. 'The world has moved on.'

But not for the LPGA, I suggest, who appear to be afraid of the L-word. 'Do they really think people wouldn't come?' asks Madeline. 'Wow, they really don't know people very well. Marv and I come and enjoy the sport. He's always followed women's sport as well as men's.' Marv concurs, saying that the Dinah Shore, on a course he has played, is really tough. 'I tip my hat to them,' he says. 'That is one helluva course, and they are great players. As for the fans here, it takes all sorts.'

The LPGA, or more particularly Nabisco, major sponsors of this $1.5million event, would beg to differ. Despite a Nabisco declaration at the media launch of the tournament that they wish 'to make it more relevant' (whatever that may mean), mention the L-word and people suddenly go deaf, or even escort you off the premises. At a previous tournament a journalist was asked to leave the press area when she made the mistake of asking some of the players if they were gay. She was accused of 'bothering' them.

When I asked Nabisco's press representative about lesbians in the sport, the atmosphere got more and more frosty and the answers more and more terse.

Are there lesbians in the LPGA?

'That is not something we would like to comment on.'

Do a lot of lesbians follow the tour?

'No comment.'

Are there...?

'Goodbye.'

Girl Bar, whose events each attract between 2,000 and 3,000 women, books out complete hotels for the weekend (two this year, with more than 700 double rooms). With other promoters and visitors making their own arrangements, this means several thousand lesbians descend on the Palm Springs area and some of them may want, understandably, to behave badly. A few years ago, another promoter made the mistake of booking just a proportion of one hotel's rooms and complaints rained in about the frolicking in the pool and the snogging in public. One distressed family were put right off their breakfast muffins by the sound of a breakfast muffing going on next door.

Local straight guys, too, cottoned on and sat around the pool, waiting for some lesbo action, prepared with the two questions that straight men always ask lesbians; 'What do you do in bed?' and 'Will you join me and my girlfriend for a threesome?' But the collision of straight and gay worlds has its moments. One woman took pity on an old bartender, clearly wilting in the desert heat at one of the pool parties. She asked him if he was OK, but she needn't have worried. 'Oh, I'm doing just fine,' he said, looking blissfully down a line of scantily clad lovelies clutching their dollars for margaritas and beers. 'I come out of retirement for this.'

Every night of the weekend, Thursday to Sunday, there is a party or club night; 24 and buffed is the dress code, it seems Ð some of the girls tell me they have been working out for months in preparation for this weekend. It's a bit of cattle market for finding a new girlfriend at the Friday and Saturday-night clubs, although, as personal trainer Adrienne, who comes every year, tells me: 'It's possible to find the love of your life here. I did last year.' Was it romantic? 'Hmmm, not precisely,' she says. 'She was the third woman I slept with that weekend, including a wild night in the hotel Jacuzzi involving four women and a lot of champagne. But my girlfriend and I have been in wedded bliss ever since.'

There are go-go dancers at the club nights, leaving little to the imagination both in their dress and dancing. The security guards keeping order Ð remarkably few for such large gatherings Ð are recruited from the local US Marine base and it's a much sought-after bit of moonlighting. I ask one, with regulation buzz cut and rippling muscles, if he is enjoying his task. 'Yes, ma'am,' he says. Is there ever any trouble? 'Oh no. On the whole, there's nothing for me and my buddies to do but check they're not bringing in their own alcohol. But one of the guys, he was working a [gay] men's weekend recently and he was getting hit on every five minutes.'

Several thousand women in town, but nary a one welcome at the golf. What a selling opportunity, if only the tournament could bear to get into bed with the lesbians, as it were. Caroline Haines is founder and organiser of the wittily named charity competition for club golfers, the Lina Shore Classic, which attracts sporty, professional lesbians in the 35-plus age group. 'My group are definitely the ones who know there's golf in town,' she says dryly. The Lina Shore attracts about 200 for its golf tournament, and about double that for its dinner dance but, remarkably, even a mature, professional group like this has not been offered a tie-up for, say, a group discount on Dinah Shore tickets. 'The LPGA know we exist,' says Haines, 'but have never approached us to get involved. I think they're missing a trick.'

Andrea Meyerson, founder of Women on a Roll, a cultural and social organisation for lesbians that attracts several hundred for its own events over the weekend, puts it more succinctly. 'The LPGA is homophobic. They don't want us, so why should we go? I honestly believe if they welcomed us openly, then more of my members would turn up. I'm sure the feeling of being unwelcome at the golf is why the weekend has become much more of a social event than a sporting one.'

It's not as if members of the two groups above would behave in a manner likely to frighten the horses, but Haines is sympathetic to the LPGA not wanting some of the weekend visitors. 'There are things that are appropriate and there are things that aren't,' she says. 'Some don't get the etiquette of golf and have been literally lying under a tree and making out. That spoils it for everyone else.'

Haines thinks there's a difference between the LPGA wanting fans to behave appropriately, however, and it living in the real world. 'I think probably about half the players are lesbian, but only one, Muffin [Spencer-Devlin, now retired] has stepped up to the plate and come out. It's a difficult situation, because sponsors' dollars are vital and they don't want to be associated with lesbians, so the players aren't encouraged to be themselves.'

In fact, over its 50-year history, the LPGA has always been associated with gay women, far more than any other sport, which probably has as much to do with its ridiculous closetedness as with the facts Ð the less you say about it, the more it's assumed. So what about the LPGA's attempts to downplay or even deny there are lesbians in the sport? 'I find it comical, because everyone knows,' says Haines.

Well not everyone. I ask the LPGA spokeswoman about lesbians on the tour. 'We're all about golf and nothing else matters. Are there...' she stutters over the next word... 'gays on the LPGA tour? I don't know. Do I care? No. Do I want to know? No. And the same way with our fans.' She then goes on to trash what fans they do have by saying, apropos of nothing I ask: 'If you're a drunk fan and obnoxious you'll be removed. But more for your behaviour on the course.' More? Surely she means only, and how do we make that leap from lesbian to lout?

To be fair, some of the lesbian golf fans appear to take the LPGA's side. In the Mission Hills clubhouse I meet a group of thirtysomething women from St Louis. Interestingly, they are all professional (one works in marketing for Nike) and all in the closet. Every year they get a large group of friends together and rent a condo, do their own thing. They don't touch the Girl Bar events, oh no. As Becky says: 'Girls in thongs and go-go dancers in cages is not our thing.' Her girlfriend, Sammi, takes an equally dim view of the partying women. 'They give out the wrong message about women's sport. I played basketball in college and frankly if they were the type of women following the game, I'd have given it up, and I'm gay. They send out completely the wrong message.'

Uniquely among major sporting events, the Dinah Shore Ð or Nabisco Classic, as the sponsor insists we call it Ð does not release detailed attendance figures. The only released figure is a woefully low 60,000 Ð and that is for the whole week, four days of competition and three days of pro-am. In contrast, last month's attendance at the Augusta National for the US Masters was 40,000 a day. Doing a very rough headcount at the Mission Hills Club over four days, I estimate that if the LPGA and sponsors could tolerate such inflamatory behaviour as public hand-holding and necking a bottle of beer in three seconds flat, then the tournament could easily double its attendance over the weekend if the party gals in Palm Springs turned up.

It's strange that in a land devoted to the bottom line, organisers and sponsors are all but literally turning away their target audience. The businesses of Palm Springs, however, a town with a reputation for being laidback about most things Ð including being a notorious haunt for Hollywood extramaritals over several decades Ð can't get enough of the lesbians. As Pati Brown of the Palm Springs Tourist Office says: 'The women who come for the tournament are well behaved, upscale [professional] and willing to spend money. We love them being here. Of course we have complaints, but they are mostly about the noise, which carries a long way in the desert.'

Brown is also the liaison officer for the gay and lesbian community, although is herself not a lesbian. 'I don't like golf,' she quips, 'which is how folks know I'm not gay. But because of our long association with Hollywood Ð in fact many retirees here were in the film, television or music industries Ð Palm Springs has always been a safe and welcoming environment for gay men and women, whether they are visiting or live here.'

Thankfully, too, not all women's sport is as set as the LPGA on denying where its following lies. The LA Sparks, part of the recently resurgent Women's National Basketball Association, have asked Sandy Sachs and Robin Gans to promote ticket sales at Girl Bar. 'It's groundbreaking and they're a little nervous,' says Sachs. 'But they realise who their market is and are pursuing it, as opposed to saying, "There are no lesbians in basketball".' Gans adds: 'You just have to look at the stands at the Staples Centre [where the Sparks play] to realise that it's 70 per cent lesbians. It's like going to Girl Bar on a Friday night.'

Basketball is following tennis's lead in allowing the public's perceptions of the sport to catch up with reality. Where once the merest hint of dykery would have the media and fans agog because the sport was so closeted, tennis players now talk openly about their sexuality Ð French player Amélie Mauresmo gave a front-page feature to the respected culture magazine Paris Match last year, posing for pictures with her long-term girlfriend Ð and the issue has become less interesting, less naughty. In fact only two of the top 20 tennis pros are lesbian Ð in other words, roughly the national average Ð and who cares any more?

Back at the weekend's final pool party on Sunday, it's an amazing sight Ð wall to wall women in skimpy bathing costumes. Things are getting hot, and not just the desert sun. The centre of the action is in the pool itself where, as one wit puts it, 'It's like the main show at Water World.' Lots of, er, ducking and underwater action, you see. The photographer and I are both hit on for threesomes, he for one and me for two, natch. A few couples are chided by the organisers for getting a little too friendly on the sun loungers, while a security guard discreetly breaks up some alfresco sex to whoops and jeers from onlookers. My, what mixed emotions he must have. Elsewhere at the gathering, a wet T-shirt competition finds its worthy winner, the sun begins to set and the partying is over for another year.

And the golf? Sweden's Annika Sorenstam wins. Like they care.

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Halloween

 Three sweet switched Swiss witch-bitches watch three washed Swiss witch-bitch Swatch watch switches. Which sweet switched Swiss witch-bitch watches which washed Swiss witch-bitch Swatch watch switch?


Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Remembering Blind Melon’s Shannon Hoon 25 Years Later

 

Band's guitarists Chris Thorn and Rogers Stevens reflect on sweet, volatile frontman

While Rogers Stevens acknowledges most of his memories from the late 1980s and early 1990s are “a bit of a blurry mush,” the Blind Melon guitarist says he remembers meeting his late bandmate, Shannon Hoon, like it happened yesterday. It was a life-changing encounter, he tells SPIN — one that ultimately yielded a multi-platinum album and one of alternative rock’s most enduring tracks. 

The fortuitous meeting happened in early 1990 in Los Angeles. Stevens and bassist Brad Smith were in town, auditioning vocalists for the band that eventually became Blind Melon.  

“The guy before Shannon, we kind of worked with him for a few days, to see if he could write lyrics to the stuff we were doing, and he was, like, a male model,” Stevens recalls. “Just a really good-looking guy who could kind of sing like he was on Broadway or something. We didn’t know any better: I was an 18-year-old from Mississippi with a hay stick still in his mouth. We didn’t realize you could find hundreds of people like that in L.A.”

Stevens and Smith agreed to meet with Hoon — who’d moved to L.A. on a whim, hopping a Greyhound bus in Indiana moments after slipping out the back door of a drug house that was being raided — on the recommendation of a friend who had ties to the music business and was close to Atlantic Records’ president, Ahmet Ertegun.

“When Shannon first got to town, he was staying with [Guns N’ Roses’] Axl Rose,” Stevens explains. “His sister knew Axl from high school and called him up, asking him to look out for her little brother. So Shannon had been living at Axl’s place for only a few days when he met Ahmet and sang for him, and so all of a sudden, Shannon was this hot prospect. So somebody sent him over to audition for us.”

Hoon entered the makeshift rehearsal studio in West Hollywood that Stevens and Smith had been using, sat down on the floor with an acoustic guitar and played the song “Change” from start to finish.

Rock Band Blind Melon Lying on Rug
CREDIT: Lynn Goldsmith/Corbis/VCG via Getty Images

“My fucking jaw hit the floor,” Stevens says of Hoon, who died 25 years ago today in New Orleans at 28. “I thought, ‘That dude’s a fucking rock star.’ I mean, you just knew it right away. It was just obvious. I looked at him, and thought, ‘He’s as good as my heroes.’ That’s the way it felt — immediately: he’s a star. There are a shit-ton of great guitar players out there, but there was only one of him.”

Days later, guitarist Chris Thorn met Hoon in a similar fashion: “Brad and I were friends, and he invited me over. Shannon played me ‘Change,’ and it blew my mind — because I was writing songs at that point, but I wasn’t writing songs at that level. Nobody was. That sounded like a song that had been around for 30 years.”

At that time, Thorn was weighing two offers: one to join Blind Melon and another from a band called Daisy Chamber, a sleaze rock act featuring Foo Fighters keyboardist Rami Jaffee that dissolved soon after issuing a self-titled, six-song EP through American Records in 1991. 

“I kind of had two hands I was playing. And I remember the night I met Shannon, I went home to my girlfriend, who is my wife now, and said, ‘He’s it. He’s the guy.’ I had this image of who a rock star was supposed to be, but I had never met that guy in Pennsylvania. When I met Shannon, it was like, ‘Holy shit! Like, this is one of those guys.’ That’s when I decided to go with Blind Melon.”

In 1992, Blind Melon released their self-titled debut, featuring “Change,” “Tones of Home” and, of course, their signature song, “No Rain.” Three years later, after touring with Ozzy Osbourne, Guns N’ Roses, and Soundgarden (and performing as part of Woodstock ’94), Blind Melon issued their sophomore record, Soup. Two months after their follow-up, after an all-night binge, Hoon was found lifeless on the group’s tour bus, dead from a cocaine-inducing heart attack. 

By all accounts, Hoon was an exceptional but flawed talent — a charming, munificent presence with no pretense, whose engaging, eruptive nature could be both invigorating and draining. His music has endured all these years later, and “No Rain” remains a classic even beyond alt-rock radio.

“He was the funniest, most charming dude around — the most magnetic person in every single room I was ever in with him, and that includes just about anybody we toured with,” offers Stevens — something he says is evident in All I Can Say, the band’s newly released documentary on the frontman. “He couldn’t sit still, he couldn’t stop talking, he couldn’t stop engaging with people, and he couldn’t stop singing. He was an exceptional human being, and when I think about him now, I can hear his voice, clearly in my head. I can’t really say that about other people I was close to in my life that have passed.”

“If you hung out with Shannon for even 20 minutes, he was your best friend,” Thorn adds. “That’s just who he was. And it wasn’t fake. He just was completely engaged — whether talking to the janitor at the arena you were playing or some dude on the street.”

Shannon Hoon Kneeling and Singing on Stage
CREDIT: Lynn Goldsmith/Corbis/VCG via Getty Images

However, Shannon’s demons usually cropped up after drinking alcohol.

“He’d turn into Mr. Hyde,” Stevens says. “That first night we met, we went out drinking and ending up back at Brad’s place, and I remember Shannon said something really stupid — which he did all the time — and I started laughing at him. Before I knew it, he was in my face, with veins bulging out on his head, getting ready to kick my ass. I mean, he was ready to go — he didn’t give a fuck. That’s about the only time I didn’t see him hit somebody in that sort of situation.”

Because Hoon was capable of flying off the handle after heavy imbibing, Shannon was also a master at reconciliation. “The next morning, and this was without fail, every time, he apologized profusely,” Stevens recalls. “I always accepted his apologies because they were always so sincere.”

Adds Thorn: “Shannon was the type of guy who could sleep with your wife, but he was so sweet the next day, and he’d be so apologetic, you’d kind of forgive him. Shannon had fucked up so much in his life that there was no one better at apologizing.”

Thorn also says Hoon would disrobe randomly, if he thought it’d get him a laugh. “He once walked out naked, in front of 80,000 people at a stadium, to deliver a pizza to Guns N’ Roses during their set,” Thorn explains. “Who has the balls to do that?”

Blind Melon perfoms in San Jose CA 1993
CREDIT: Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

Months before Soup’s release, Hoon, a new father to daughter Nico Blue, entered rehab. It was decided the band would tour with a counselor joining on the road to assist with his recovery; that individual was fired not long into that trek. After Hoon’s death, using a wealth of Shannon’s vocal recordings, Blind Melon created 1996’s Nico as a tribute to him. Proceeds from the album’s sales went to Hoon’s daughter and funded programs to help musicians dealing with addiction.

“It was hard and painful, making that record, but there was something about us all being together, in a room together, that felt good,” recalls Thorn, who thinks about his late friend at least once a day. “It did feel like he was there and like we were making a record with him, but it was absolutely painful. People say things like, ‘Time heals.’ I don’t know, man. There’s still a wicked fucking scar there, and … I mean, it’s not an open wound anymore, but you know what, it can become an open wound.”

Both Thorn and Stevens, who recorded and released four new Blind Melon songs online over the last two years, including the moving “Too Many to Count,” also still think about what could have been: Soup, they say, really captured a band that was only just getting started.

“When Shannon was around, he was the life of the party, every single time, but the other side of that was … he was a deep dude,” Stevens says. “He was capable of a level of self-reflection that really comes through in those songs, and he was able to take his experience and make it universal because he was really in touch with something magnanimous about the human spirit. That’s a fucking rare gift.”